The rationale behind "The Friend Zone"
There are two major reasons that you are stuck in "The Friend Zone" and you are most likely doing both without ever realizing it.
- not touching enough
- skipping the attraction stage
Let's begin with touching.
Building rapport with a woman is great. However, rapport does not create the physical connection. To break the bonds of pure rapport and create anchors of sexuality, you need to break the touch barrier early on and intensify that touch over time.
One of the most amazing methods for creating sexuality and emotional anchors is to take her intrigue and curiosity about you to new levels through simple but brief touch.
This can be as straightforward as slight and casual touch of the hand or shoulder for two to three seconds or less during the course of conversation.
Yet, you should be consistently creating these emotional anchors of trust and connection at least once per minute. Otherwise, you may well be headed to "The Friend Zone."
Rule of thumb...Increase your touch 300%. In other words, touch 3 times more than would normally.
The other tendency most guys have is to skip the attraction stage altogether and go head-first into deep conversation and rapport building.
Trust me, there is a time and place for rapport building; however, what typically happens is most guys never reach the peak level of attraction needed to stimulate desirable magnetism beyond friendship.
How to get out of "The Friend Zone"
As I said, there are only a few ways to get out of "The Friend Zone."
First, let me warn you. It takes patience and it takes work.
It seems that the male species has an imprint old thoughts and concepts that DO NOT work. If you are used to asking women to go out to dinner or have a drink, toss that thinking out of your mind right now.
Getting out of "The Friend Zone" requires a shift in the paradigm of your connection with women.
This new way of thinking creates a win-win situation for you and for her.
The key is to invite her to "meet up" in a comfortable social setting. 'Meeting up' can help alleviate feelings of pressure for you both.
Yet, there are a few critical aspects of this 'meeting up' philosophy that can help create the right environment for creating sexuality and emotional anchors.
One of the coolest things I suggest to guys who ask me about getting out of "The Friend Zone" is to invite your friends to meet up at the same location. In particular, inviting attractive female friends not sexually interested in you.
When you meet up with her and follow this system, you will see a transformation in the way she interacts with you.
Why does this work?
Well, for starters, when she sees you interacting equally in a group conversation and creating eye contact with everyone -- female and male -- not just focusing just on her, you become more attractive.
When she sees other women are attracted to you, you show value.
She starts to desire your attention. However, to get your attention she has to do something to create attraction.
This becomes your opportunity to be extra playful, a chance to flirt and follow the "Attraction Blueprint." Remember, this is not the time for deep conversation, but rather the time for attraction through laughing and touching.
When you have set the stage at the height of attraction, you now have the opening for building rapport.
Do not put attraction on the backburner here. Touching is still crucial because you are still providing value in a number of stimulating ways.
As you can see, getting out of "The Friend Zone" means recognizing your own behaviors when it comes to women and changing the way you interact.
You are not just another nice guy. You are not one of the 95%. You can provide her value and create emotional anchors that will show her a new part of you that she hasn't seen.
All the best,
Author of The Tao of Badass